Baby, Baby, Baby.....

OK, OK, I know it has been a LONG while! Too many things to do, with too little time to do them! Let's just start with the Dallas Mavericks! They are awesome, aren't they. Sorry, I had to get that in there because I am watching them as I write this! Now on to this whole baby thing.  I went to the doctor on Thursday, April 16 to take a pregnancy test. The doctor wanted me to take one to make sure that I wasn't pregnant before we start all of the medicines! Of course, the doctor's office is closed on Fridays, so I had to wait until Monday to get the results. We left to go to Arkansas (for Jason's funeral) on Friday morning and came back early Sunday morning, so I could get to work. Well, by the time Monday came, I had forgotten all about the pregnancy test! Imagine that! So, I called the doctor on Tuesday and she told me that I wasn't pregnant. Shocking news. At my last doctors appointment she gave me three prescriptions but told me not to get them filled yet. She finally told me get them filled on Monday. WARNING: I am fixing to start talking about gross women stuff. That is your warning! So now I am taking Provera, to make me start my cycle. On days 3-5 of my cycle I have to take Clomid, a fertility drug! Then on days 6-10 i have to take Estradiol, which is supposed to build my uterus walls up and help me ovulate! Then on day 12 of my cycle, I have to go to the doctor and get a sonogram done to see if I am ovulating. Please, please, please, pray that this works. Everyone around me is pregnant and having babies. IT IS MY TURN! I know, it all happens in God's time. I will do this as many times as it takes.  It will be well worth it in the long run. 

WHY?

Eli has a best friend in Arkansas that he has grown up with, Jason Murdock. I think they have known each other since they were very little, so this guy is more like a brother! Jason has been in the Marines and in the Army for about 9 years. He has been around the world. Jason was killed in a car accident early Friday (4-10-09) morning. I called Eli when I woke up Friday morning to tell him good Morning, and he informed me of the news. Talk about a sad Easter weekend. We had plans to go to my dad’s land for Easter weekend, which we did, but it just wasn’t the same.

I had talked to Jason on the phone and on the Internet several times, but the first time I meet Jason in person was the week of our wedding. He was a best man in the wedding. He came into town and stayed a couple of days. He is the coolest guy I know. He was so sweet, so caring, thoughtful, big hearted, understanding……(this could go on FOREVER) guy I know! I wish everyone in the world could have met him. He touches everyone he meets. He was also a solider, and if you know me, that means A LOT in my book! Anyone who can go out and sacrifice their life for my FREEDOM is the biggest HERO in my book. Over the years, I have gotten to know Jason, and none of those words have changes about him….I have added a word over the years….BROTHER! He was like a brother to me, since he was like a brother to Eli.

I know that we are not supposed to question God, but it is hard some times. Why did he take a GOOD MAN from us? Why are there still murders, rapist, burglars, etc.? Why can’t God take the bad people from the world? I know he is in a better place now, he is with the Lord! He doesn’t have to worry about anything now. He is living the good life with our Father. He lived for fighting for this country, it was his LIFE; but he gets to rest now. REST, Jason.

His work here is done. God called him home for a reason, although I don’t know that reason, I am sure it is a great reason. I know God has GREAT plans for Jason in Heaven. I am kinda selfish, but maybe he will be my baby’s (whenever we have one) guardian angel! I think he will be a watching over a ton of people! That is just his nature.

What I would give to have him back. I know we cannot get people back, but think about it, what you give to get a loved on back?

Rest In Peace Jason Robert Murdock (“Doc”)! We love you and miss you!
See you in heaven!



THE FINAL INSPECTION
The Soldier stood and faced his God

Which must always come to pass

He hoped his shoes were shining

Just as brightly as his brass.

Step forward now, you soldier,

How shall I deal with you?

Have you always turned the other cheek?

To My Church have you been true?

The soldier squared his shoulders

and said, No Lord, I guess I ain't

Because those of us who carry guns

Can't always be a saint.

I've had to work most Sundays,

And at times my talk was tough.

And sometimes I've been violent,

Because the world is awfully rough.

But I never took a penny

That wasn't mine to keep...

Though I worked a lot of overtime

When the bills just got too steep.

And I never passed a cry for help,

Though at times I shook with fear,

And sometimes, God forgive me,

I've wept unmanly tears.

I know I don't deserve a place

Among the people here.

They never wanted me around

Except to calm their fears.

If you've a place for me here, Lord,

It needn't be so grand,

I've never had that much in life,

So if you don't I'll understand.

There was a silence all around the throne

Where the saints had often trod

As the soldier waited quietly,

For the judgment of his God.

Step forward now you soldier

You've borne your burdens well,

Walk peacefully on Heaven's streets,

You've done your time in Hell.

To All That Serve

That was a poem that I pulled off of Jason’s Myspace page. I read it a while back when he first put it on there and fell in love with it!

I LOVE YOU JASON!